Harriet Pellar

To the Pellar Daughters,

Just a word of thanks for the beautiful & meaningful momento of your mother, so full of wisdom and humor. What a wonderful way to remember her! As it happens, I began training to be a hospice volunteer last week and you can be sure these helpful ways of responding to a dear ones passing will be passed on in ever-widening circles.

How proud your mother must have been of her three lady bugs- and I imagine, will always be. Thanks for letting me be a part of your ceremonies, and for sharing Harriet's essence- her beautiful likeness expressed in so many ways. Such a wonderful way to remember her- no doubt just the way many of us would hope to be remembered: with humor, wisdom and inspiration. Thank you for including me among her friends. She will be missed. Warmest thoughts to you all!
Fondly,
Rachael Fleet

On 10/24/10 we had a party in memory of Harriet (& Marshall!!!) at the house. She did not want a "Memorial Service" so we had a fun event with balloons, a blue grass trio, food, drink and friends all around (her Wavy Gravy Clown Camp Mask that she had made was a hit). Amelia Gardner, Therese Tenalski and son Joe, Priscilla Dick, Betty Dow, Barbara & Joe McMiniman escorted by son Jeffrey, Vivian Blackstone, Cousin Jinny Martin and Cousin Roberta Martin, Kevin & Gaga Barnes, Betty Cordova, Gloria Lynch, Eva Maki (our nanny when we were living in La Jolla in the 1970's!), Ann Kellerhouse (representing Helen Button's Old Girl Horse back riders),Barbara Gorder & Tim Farley, Pandora Van Bustkirk, Gina Lee (the wonderful massage therapist that kept my mom going) and Kim Anglo (the wonderful caregiver that went beyond the call of duty to take care of the house and my mom for a year-thank you so very much!). Love to you all! And those that could not be there too: Betty Littrel, Peter & Lynn & Jeanie Karlen, Mary Ann Zimmerman, Rob Baldwin (and all the UFO friends), Sarito Sun, Ruth Newman, Nancy Ann Tappe, Madu & Nacha, Ruth Herbert, Capt. & Mrs. Gorder, Sigrid Fisher, Sue Fuller, Virginia Waller, Lynn Haynes, Helen Button, Rachel Fleet, Heng Liem, Elenor Chapin, Elaine Jarvis all her West Town School & Cornell classmates and those that have passed: Joyce Goldberg Ashe, Kay & Mansfield Mills, Billy & Ruth Goodell, Cousin Capt. Barney Martin, Ann Liem, Milton & Emily Trager, Cousin Gloria Mies passed the day after Mom...Her friends were so important to her and if I have left any off this list, please let me know and I will add.

Harriet: Tall,elegant, kind, generous, compassionate, friendly, a dear friend.

In our thirties we discovered we were Theta sisters and I taught Linda in the 3rd and 6th grades. What a pleasure to know your family, Marshall, Nina, Linda and Marsha. We went sailing on the Pacific.

In our forties  we would meet at Su Casa for dinner.

In our sixties we rode the Merry Go Round and the Miniature Train in Balboa Park.

In our seventies we found our Quaker roots.

Now Harriet is with her beloved Marshall and all is well. 

Harriet W. Pellar was an inspiration to me and my mother, Sally Symons Brandt. Harriet had such grace, serenity, wisdom, and love of life. Her Mother, Nina Griffith Washburn, was intense and a strong character of what was right. She divorced Lud Washburn who was more low key, full of good humor and an appreciator of women; they were gorgeous. Harriet boarded at a Friends School in Philadelphia (West Town School). There’s a family story about the school when my great grandmother Griffith attended. The headmistress called her down after she had received a lacey valentine. “Did thou receive such a thing? Yes, Bring it here.” She did and the headmistress tore it up. After attending this same Quaker school, and having been on a tight tether by her mother, Harriet surprised us all as she went off on a motorcycle to marry Marshall Pellar  (We were at the River Forest house of Grandmother Symons at a picnic in her back garden when Marshall came to take Harriet off on a date). This did not set well with Nina. However, Harriet’s equnimity was undisturbed; forgiveness was natural. She overlooked people’s faults. A loyal support, she brought out our best. When I asked for advice in dealing with my mother, she said, we all have “free will”. “Love is the main thing and the rest is passing shadows.”